How to banish the terror of change and get what you want.

So what’s it going to be: what you want or what you have?

The title of this post is not from me. In my version I’d change just one word:

The thought of changing delights me because I might get everything I ever wanted, and along the way I might lose everything I have.

“Terrifies” is such a strong word, I’m not sure the last time I used it–if ever. What terrifies me? Let’s do a quick count:

Stopping learning
Never again traveling
Not sharing and giving what I know

This would probably make one of those good Facebook quizzes that people fill out and feel deep and inspired. But what terrifies me? Trump? Terrorists? But they feel (thankfully) distant from everyday life. What’s terrifying about change? Change is exhilarating, fascinating and intriguing. It’s mysterious, fun and playful. It’s possibly painful, probably takes effort and it’s pretty much guaranteed for growth.

I’m saddened to read that even the thought of change terrifies someone. I might have the same condolences for someone who feared education (or learning), travel or the unknown. The essence of change itself: isn’t that what keeps us alive, what keeps us on the edge of our seats and hungry for more?

Another friend today said, “There is no courage without fear.“

We’re easily courageous when there is no cost, no risk or no downside. That’s not courage. That’s dessert.

Is it not widely accepted that one of our greatest fears is not in failing to accomplish our hopes and dreams but actually succeeding in them? What if the author of this post’s title was handed what she wanted on a silver platter, no strings attached, would she be happy? Satisfied? Content? Or is it the journey, the chase, topic of conversation of what you’d like in your life but you don’t yet have? Isn’t it far easier to talk about what we want than to take serious action towards it? It’s also more fun and you’ll get loads more sympathy.

Try this out at your next party:

Whine and swoon about your dreams and how you’re striving towards them but not actually doing anything about them. See what kinds of reactions you get.

At perhaps the same party but with a different crowd, talk about what you’re doing, what actions and progress you’re making towards your hopes and dreams you’re achieving and see what the response is.

People aren’t always sure what to do with people who take action, people who live their dreams and are around to tell about it. They’re scary, they should exist only in fables and movies. Why are they scary? Why aren’t they as popular? Because they’re doing the work. They’re taking action, making things happen and, gasp, maybe you are not. It hurts, it sucks, it’s not fun to hear that someone is doing something that you’re not. You can be gracious and congratulate them, but you silently wouldn’t mind if they stumbled a bit on their glorious path upwards.

The post title is so far away, I need to paste it here again:

The thought of changing terrifies me because I might get everything I ever wanted, and along the way I might lose everything I have.

It’s quite a simple battle: want versus have. Future versus present. Later versus now.

So how are you going to banish the terror and turn your now into your future? You know the best time to plant a tree? 20 years ago. You know the second best time to plant a tree? Today.