The Post I’m Scared to Write

I’m even scared to write this post that is about the post I’m scared to write. It’s the meta fear!

It just kind of hit me: I don’t really know what to do next. Well, I kinda do, but that’s the Bradley-let’s-just-wing-it-and-see-what-happens plan. Or the non-plan plan. The strategy-less strategy.

So Now What?

Last summer, on a regular basis, my son said, “So now what?” What were we going to do next? We were in Germany with one of my closest friends and my friend thought it was cute. I thought it was a pity as my son was focused on what was next rather than what we were doing. But of course, also the reality of a tweener.

But he’s also genuinely concerned about what we’re going to be doing next. He still is. I’m actually a very much Live in the Moment kind of guy—at least most of the time. In fact, I’m enjoying my moment right now. Writing in a train in Holland after just flying in from Istanbul where we were on vacation without kids for several days.

But I’m avoiding the reality of what’s coming. OK, avoiding is a big word. Postponing? Delaying? Not in a hurry to begin? What am I going to do next? It’s easy and hard: change.

I’m changing careers. I’m slowly dumping my website design business and I’m going to be a writer.

There, I said it. I’m not embarrassed, I’m both terrified and without a fear in the world. The weird part is that I know I’ll succeed. It’s not just hope or believe, it’s know. So what’s the problem?

Starting.

It’s the first step. The first article pitched to someone. Ooh, there’s the key: someone else. Coming out of my writer’s closet (but it’s so cozy in here!) and getting out into the Real World. It’s big and busy out there!

I like writing. I like marketing. I just don’t like marketing my writing. Well, at least not yet.

A recent idea slapped me upside the head: I’m going to document my journey from newbie writer (or at least relatively unknown compared to the stardom I’ll achieve) through the ups and downs, tips and tricks from being nowhere to somewhere. I’m even working on a pitch to interview me before I’m successful and famous. There are loads of success stories of those who have already made it, but what about the ones who are on their way? Now that would be interesting.

I can map out my plan and later look back and see what worked and what didn’t. When I find successful methods, I can share them. Well, actually, sharing the unsuccessful stuff is useful, too. I’d like to make it almost scientific. So it will easy to see, “Aha, when I did XYZ, that helped ABC quite a bit. Much more than when I tried DEF four times. Interesting.”

I know it’s all been done. But I haven’t done it. It might not be the path less traveled (then again, it might be, it depends on the path I take), but it’s a path that I haven’t taken yet.

Writing As Therapy

Ah, writing as therapy. When I started this post, I didn’t even want to write the “post about the post I didn’t want to write.” I just want to write. See? It works.