Why Not Have It All? — You Can Have It All and Live Your Dream

I’m Bradley Charbonneau, and in this conversation with Nicoline Housingha we explore a question that keeps so many of us awake at night: you can have it all — but what does “all” look like, and how do you actually get there? Nicoline’s story is a reminder that long-held dreams don’t have to be postponed forever, and that with creativity and courage you can have it all in ways that respect both your life and the people you love.

Table of Contents

• The longing that never left
• The chance she didn’t take — and why it mattered
• The Spain moment — when a feeling becomes a decision
• Either/or vs. both — the turning point
• The villain, the hero, and the guide
• The unexpected benefits — energy, creativity, and the book
• Practical tips for making “you can have it all” real
• Three things Nicoline would tell her 19‑year‑old self
• FAQ
• Conclusion

The longing that never left

Some dreams arrive so early they become part of who you are. For Nicoline it started at age nine when a teacher offered English classes and she blurted out something simple and devastatingly honest: the Netherlands are too small for me. That small statement carried decades of yearning — a desire to live and work abroad, to breathe different light and rhythms into daily life.

The chance she didn’t take — and why it mattered

At 19 she stood on a real crossroads: an opportunity to move to France or Switzerland for a year was on the table, but pressure from a boyfriend and the worries of a protective mother kept her home. She married, then divorced, had children, and life folded in the usual ways. That choice stayed with her for years — sometimes as regret, sometimes as a quiet, unresolved wish. If you’re carrying a younger-self question like that, Nicoline’s story shows how those threads can still be woven into a beautiful pattern later on.

The Spain moment — when a feeling becomes a decision

Two years ago a short trip to Spain changed everything. Waking up, swimming in the morning, watching the sun cross the water — the feeling was immediate and physical. She says she cried on the pebble beach with waves lapping her feet and realized she wanted to live there. That moment was not rational. It was a belonging that went beyond logic.

Either/or vs. both — the turning point

For the longest time Nicoline had framed this as a binary choice: stay in the Netherlands with family or move to Spain and leave them behind. Then her coach — her guide — asked a simple question: “Why not have it all?” That phrase reframed everything. Once the possibility of doing both entered her imagination, she started experimenting with real, practical steps that made both lives possible.

Start small, scale with confidence

• September: a few days to test the feeling.
• April: two weeks in the same spot to see how it felt long enough to notice the differences.
• Summer: five weeks with family to combine presence and the new rhythm.
• March and October: month-long stays to discover sustainable patterns.

These incremental steps prove a vital point: you can have it all by designing transitions that respect responsibilities and satisfy the heart.

The villain, the hero, and the guide

We used a simple framework during the conversation: villains are the internal and external forces that hold us back (fear, shame, cultural expectations), the hero is the part of us that acts, and the guide is the one who opens possibilities. The guide’s question — you can have it all — helped Nicoline move from self-judgment to experimentation.

The oxygen-mask rule

One of the most useful metaphors: the airplane oxygen mask. Put yours on first. If you’re empty, you can’t be fully present for others. Nicoline’s time in Spain replenishes her energy, creativity, and emotional reserves so she returns more engaged and loving.

The unexpected benefits — energy, creativity, and the book

When Nicoline spends time in Spain she doesn’t just relax — she becomes more creative and productive. She woke up with a download to write a book, and within six weeks produced a 200-page manuscript. That torrent of creative energy came from a shift in daily life and inner alignment. It’s proof that the right environment can unlock capabilities you didn’t know you had.

Practical tips for making “you can have it all” real

1. Start small: test a week or a month before committing to larger changes.
2. Design creatively: schedule blocks of time, share responsibilities, and find remote-work or flexible options that fit your reality.
3. Communicate clearly: involve the people affected and co-create solutions rather than imposing decisions.
4. Be kind to your younger self: regret is normal — but it doesn’t invalidate what you can build today.
5. Use guides: a coach or trusted friend can help you see options you’re overlooking.

Three things Nicoline would tell her 19‑year‑old self

When asked what she’d say to the 19-year-old who decided not to go, Nicoline offered three compassionate and practical reminders:

• Whatever you decide, it’s okay — stop harshly judging your past choices.
• Trust the process — if a dream is meant to be lived, it will return and you’ll find a way to act on it.
• You can have it all — creativity and planning can produce solutions that work for everyone.

FAQ

Q: How do I balance family responsibilities while pursuing my dream?

A: Start with short tests, be transparent with loved ones, and design practical arrangements. Small successes build trust and momentum.

Q: What about the guilt of wanting something different?

A: Guilt often comes from internalized expectations. Reframe your choice as a way to become a fuller, more energized version of yourself — which benefits everyone around you.

Q: My partner doesn’t share the dream. Is it still possible?

A: Yes. There are many flexible models: alternating stays, combining family trips, or structuring longer but finite periods away. Creativity and honest conversation are essential.

Q: How do I know if a dream is worth pursuing now or if it’s just a fantasy?

A: Test it. If the urge keeps returning and you’re willing to take small steps, that’s a strong sign it’s meant to be explored.

Conclusion

Nicoline’s path from a childhood longing to concrete, sustainable change shows a powerful truth: you can have it all — not by denying the realities of responsibilities, but by inventing solutions that honor your life and your heart. Start experimenting, be gentle with your past choices, and let curiosity guide you. The dream might be closer than you think.

If one idea stays with you, let it be this: you can have it all — and the work is to imagine the how, then take the first small step.