“French is useless.” A look into the mind of a 13-year old.

Styrofoam cups are useless. But “useless” is usually a subjective position. Unless you’r a teenager.

Let’s see, there’s:

1. I don’t know.
2. I don’t know what I don’t know.
3. I don’t know much and I don’t care to know anything more.
4. I know almost everything and don’t try to teach me more.
5. I know everything.

Where is your teenager along the 5 Steps of Teenage Omniscience?*

Oh, how I wish it were a linear process and I could just wait out the stages. But alas. As we scientifically study this alien life form, we try to think back to when we also knew it all, but it’s blocked from our memory because after that period comes a time when we admit that we know nothing and knowing nothing means that it was not possible that we at one point knew it all.

If we’re confused about our teenage neuroscience now, how must it be for those going through the experiments now? The poor test cases.

What’s the secret number we’re actually, quietly, hoping for?

It’s number two: I don’t know what I don’t know. But if you read between the lines, it’s I quietly admit that I don’t know what I don’t know and I secretly want to know it all, but I also realize that it will take time but that’s OK because I have time because I’m only a teenager.

“French is useless.” Unless you’re in a French-speaking country and it would behoove you to understand what the sign says.

They were on horses today and my son was able to “have a conversation.” Granted, both parties emitted a total of 5 words, but who’s counting? A conversation is a conversation. Five words is more than zero words. It’s a start.

Since the man spoke only French (and the Moroccan Arabic), my son thought that it was a little bit useful that he could speak a little bit of French. This is learning. This is learning through necessity. But it’s also through environment and it helps that his parents drag him to places where his learning comes has a fleeting passing in the night with reality.

* Omniscience: truly knowing it all. No, really.