This is why I have no fear.

Sometimes, not often, I wonder why I no longer have fear.

Here’s partly why.

A (new) friend told me about a book called something like Finite and Infinite Games (I’ll find a link and paste it below). It was something about how there were two “games” we play in life. This description is based on our conversation and I haven’t read the book (or am I even sure I found it).

1. Finite games: the short game. they have a beginning and an end. This is stuff we do often and start and finish. Projects, jobs, but smaller, too.
2. Infinite games: the long game. Things that go on forever or maybe don’t have a beginning or end. Maybe this is just life itself.

For me, as I stated, I no longer have fear. Or much fear. Sure, there’s little stuff, but not the existential “why am I here?” sort of big stuff.

I gotta run, going to watch a movie and have popcorn with my 12-year old as we’re home alone this evening. So I’ll keep this brief.

I have no fear because I’m playing the long game, the infinite game. There is no winning or losing, beginning or ending. I’m always playing and wins and losses are just bumps along the way.

I doubt this makes any sense to anyone. It might not even make sense to me. But this is also what writing does for me: it helps me think, it helps me see more clearly. Sometimes I might not know what I’m thinking until I write it out.

Finite versus infinite. Finite is stuff that you start and finish and that’s all good. But then you get to the good stuff, the stuff you want to do all of the time, the underlying layer that is not just what you do but who you are. That’s the stuff that you want to be with you at all times, infinitely.

Yeah, so that’s what’s going on.

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