Dit is het diepste punt van mijn leven.

“This is the lowest point of my life.” — Lu, while in the market near the taxi stand, on the way to the old town.

It’s been rough the past few days, but we’ve hit bottom. Lu stated today that this was it, not like those other times that he’s said it, but this was it: the low point.

It’s been at least a few decades, no, years, no, months, no, hours now, so I’m not sure exactly what tipped the scales, but I feel for the poor boy. He’s had a hard life.

Cry Wolf

It would have more meaning if he didn’t say it so often. Today was particularly good as he used some new phrasing: I especially liked the “deepest point” (deepest punt) as it’s entertaining (and educational) to learn when he starts putting new vocabulary into regular usage. I suppose it’s a bit like when you really stub your toe, what’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth? That’s what’s natural, authentic, real. The “deepest point.” It’s worth noting. Oh wait, that’s what I’m doing.

Please note, dear reader and fellow parent (whether past, present, future or imaginary), we have tried all parenting methods:

1. Damn, boy, I oughta slap you upside the head!
2. You spoiled brat!
3. Did you know that when I was young, we ate potatoes every night for three years? Hauled 50-kilo bags of concrete up eight flights of stairs? Then were thankful for cold porridge?
4. You better enjoy this or else!
5. I understand your pain, my darling. I promise things will turn around. Would you like an ice cream? Let me wipe your tears.
6. (Just walk away as if you don’t even know him.)
7. If your father were around to hear that  … (then choose from #4 or #5, depending on the remaining time to happy hour).
8. This is my lowest point as well, my darling son. Let’s hold hands and cry.
9. This does suck! Let’s cancel this overrated Mediterranean island-hopping nightmare and get back to reality this instant! I know you want to get back to school and I wanted to look over my taxes again. Run!
10. (Hug them tight and point to something interesting within view.) Hey, did you see this?

Ah yes, we’ve been down all of the paths. None are lined with gold and all have thorns that get in between your toes. Try them all, please do, they’re free of charge (but will also be for sale in my upcoming booklet, “How to turn your snot-nosed brat into an angelic prince in 10 easy steps” — $8.99 on Amazon Kindle).

Or just grin and bear it and time will heal all. Sure, try some of the above, but I think time will work best. At least, that’s our strategy. Is it working? I don’t know yet, we’re waiting for suggestion #11 and … for time to finally kick in.

P.S. Please file this under Quotes to Read Back at His Wedding.