Nee Nee

I don’t want this and I certainly don’t want that.

Remember “Just Say No!”? Maybe this is that. But what if you Just Say No to … everything?

This is Part One of the Paper Route series where we take lessons in economics, human nature, and physics all in the span of a short afternoon. In the spring of 2017, my 13-year old son took his very first job: a paper route. This is what happened.

Again, the paper route teaches us life lessons. Or is it yet again that life lessons are all around us and we just need to be open to them? In any case, this was a biggie.

On almost every mailbox, there is a sticker that designates if the resident would like to receive the local newspaper (which is free) and/or advertisements. Here our the options:

1. No sticker at all. They’ll receive the local paper and the ads/flyers.
2. Ja + Nee. They’ll get the paper, but not the ads.
3. Nee + Ja. They’d get the ads, but not the paper. I don’t think this exists. Maybe only ad sales guys. 😉
4. Nee + Nee. They don’t want any of it. No local paper, no ads.

I understand #2 (newspaper but no ads). My issue is with #4.

I try to comprehend the mindset of the people living there who don’t want any local news. Sure, it’s not exactly the New York Times (or the NRC Handelsblad), but there are articles about the happenings of the region. Even if you just glanced at an article or two per week, you might have a tiny insight into the world going on (right) around you, in your neighborhood, in your region.

But no, just say Nee Nee and shut it all out.

I’m the first one to admit that I avoid lots of bad news. It’s just too depressing. But this isn’t about global politics. My youngest son’s basketball team was mentioned when they won the championship last season. That’s not nuclear missile testing from North Korea but given the choice between Kim Jong-un and the Blue Arrows, pass the pom pom.

Maybe we have a little too much time to think on the paper route, but I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t want to get to know the Nee Nee People. If they don’t want any news from the outside–not even the nearby outside–why would they want to talk to me? Why would I want to talk to them (other than wanting to do an interview to see what makes the Nee Nee Tribe tick)?

On the upside, a Nee Nee Citizen doesn’t need any paper, so if we can see the sticker from the street, we don’t even need to approach the house. And who would dare approach a Nee Nee Tribal Leader anyway? Who knows what sorts of anti-social defense mechanisms the house might have!?

Do we just leave the Nee Nees to themselves? Isn’t this where someone might raise a finger and say, “Uh, maybe we should check them out. Maybe they just need a cup of tea. Maybe we should intervene? Before it’s too late.” Are these the types of people who make the news for all the wrong reasons? Well, they wouldn’t read about it anyway! Ha, little Nee Nee Culture joke.

Such is the life of the paper route boy. It just doesn’t get any more cutting edge on the forefront of societal, economic, and optimal delivery strategic behavior.

Stay tuned for more from the street in the Paper Boy Chronicles.