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I think my son is doing LSD. He’s 11. Is that OK?

I think my son is doing LSD. He’s 11. Is that OK?

He wrote, “Math is like a way of life. I feel so special to know it.”

For the record, that can’t be my son. I know him. I’ve know him for 11 years. A FBI handwriting analyst neighbor is on the way over, so maybe that will help identify the intruder. But it might be inconclusive. He’s also bringing his lie detector. Those don’t work, right? So, it’s either:

  1. Mind-altering drugs,
  2. Rehearsing for the school play,
  3. Bribed by his grandfather,
  4. We need to have a serious talk.

I’m not quite sure what to do … or do nothing. He’s only 11. Maybe he’s “experimenting.” Hey, I’m all about experiments. Let’s take a quick closer look.

Quick survey: what do you do when an alien being takes over the body of your child? Is there an app for that?

Mind-altering drugs

LSD isn’t so bad, right? Wasn’t it legal a few decades ago? I think I read about how it’s recently being used for cancer patients. So maybe this is OK.

Rehearsing for the school play

This would actually be perfectly acceptable–even encouraged. Especially with his career aspirations at the moment (1. Hollywood actor or if that doesn’t work out, 2. Professional soccer player), this could be a step in the right direction. The challenge is that school started 3 days ago and I’m not even sure there is a theater group …

Bribed by his grandfather

His grandfather passed away 3 months ago exactly today. Hmm, maybe this is it. It could have been a dying wish. My son really admired his grandfather and math was a huge (like infinity size) part of grandpa’s life. A heavenly connection and request fulfilled? Not entirely impossible.

We need to have a serious talk

If this truly was my son, I’ll have to sit him down in a musky, dark room with a spot light hanging from the ceiling. If he’s exhibiting multiple personalities at this age, we’ll need to start soon on, well, mind-altering drugs.

I need your help. What do you do when you darling angel / despicable devil of a child displays personalities previously unheard of in your household? Do you give them a Snickers bar or send them to their room and cut off the WiFi?

I love math, it's amazing.

I love math, it’s amazing.

P.S. I’m filing this under “Habits.” 😉

About The Author

Bradley

I don't like to call them excuses. They're priorities. With a handful of exceptions, we usually have a choice in our actions. They just need to be prioritized.

4 Comments

  1. John

    Oh my goodness. This is amazing. Haha. 🙂

    Reply
    • Bradley

      Maybe I need a disclaimer that I checked and he’s not doing LSD … ?

      Reply
  2. Monroe Kibbler

    If you think your child may be drinking or using drugs, the first and most important thing you can do it to come right out and ask. Research says that when parents talk openly about drugs and drinking, children have better self-control and develop more negative perceptions of these risky behaviors.

    Reply
    • Bradley

      Hi Monroe,
      Thanks for the note and the concern.
      I wondered if my off-handed humor might come across as potentially sounding like I was actually worried he was doing drugs. I didn’t make it completely clear just to add a little mystery to it.

      I think I needed to make the backstory a little more clear (that my son isn’t known for being excited about math). So that would make my surprise at his change of personality more clear. In fact, I’m still baffled as to where this letter came from. Although I’m certain it’s not mind-altering drugs, maybe he’s just growing up–which is about all the mind altering that’s going on around here!

      Thanks again for taking the time to comment and I hope I didn’t have you worrying at all.

      Reply

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