Ch. 8: Lu Goes First: Aliens, Farting, and Pepper!

It happened something like this.

Dear Reader,
The veracity of the following account cannot be guaranteed by this author as it was only what was recounted after the fact. We are all at the mercy of an 8-year old’s ability to stick to the facts and retell them as accurately as possible. It was certainly one of the hazards and cautions the author had to take in splitting up deep in the tunnel, but it was simply what had to be done at the time.
The Author

When I got away from my dad and Li, it was dark at first, but then there was more light through another hole to the sky. As soon as I turned a corner, there were aliens who drove cars, but I farted and the stink bombs made them all drive away! They all yelled, “Oogie woogie!” as they scrambled for the exits. That was fun.

Well, maybe that didn’t all happen exactly like that. But there were aliens! They were green and had one eye. I wasn’t scared though because they were friendly aliens. How do I know? Because they told me they were friendly. Duh!

OK, maybe there weren’t really aliens, but I did fart. A lot. It was really stinky. It made me forget that I was scared. Well, I wasn’t really scared, but I was a little scared. When I farted, it made me think of being home and then I was a little sad and I was scared, but I wasn’t really scared. Well, maybe I was a little scared. But I knew our dog, his name is Pepper, was ahead of us somewhere and we needed to save him. And my dad and big brother were behind me and if I yelled and screamed, they could probably find me really quickly. So I wasn’t that scared. But I was maybe a little scared. But don’t tell anybody.

After the aliens left (ha ha, that’s a joke), I went deeper into the cave. It got a little darker and there were some more turns, but then there was more light. I wasn’t scared anymore because I heard Pepper bark. Well, I think it was Pepper’s bark. It was something and it sounded like a dog so you have to think that it was a dog and how many dogs were down here anyway? Well, now that you make me think of it, who knows, maybe there are lots of dogs down here. What would they all be doing down here? But I wasn’t thinking about lots of other dogs, I was just thinking about our dog, Pepper.

Thinking all of this—and trying not to think about all of this—took some time and I made my way down the tunnel and my thoughts kept me busy until this time it was Pepper that I heard for sure. I whispered, “Pepper!” to see if he’d come running. I waited and listened. He didn’t. Maybe I should have been louder. “Pepper!” I yelled. I heard something. It was a dog for sure. It must be Pepper.

Oh no, the end of the tunnel! Oh, I thought it was the end of the tunnel, but then it just turned a little and there was another bigger cave. In the corner there was something black and hairy. I couldn’t tell at first, but then I heard him whimper. It was Pepper! I ran towards him.