If my family were running a farm, we’d starve.
My kids are allergic to work. Not just hard labor, any work.
“I have to go the bathroom.” “My thumb hurts.” “I need to take off my cast.” “Oh, are you done already? I was coming to help.” “Lu isn’t helping, why should I?” “I’m too tired.” “I was at school all day.”
Or there aren’t any excuses, they just vanish. We can call them, drag them, pester them, threaten, bribe, beg, plead, talk to, but it’s all a losing battle. My kids just are allergic to work.
I’m not asking them to plow the fields (although if we had fields, I would ask them). I’m not asking them to re-shingle the roof or re-tile the bathroom. I’m asking them to help empty the car, make their breakfast or … put on their shoes.
Chores not only make children feel needed, but they teach survival skills as well as time management. This will give them the self-confidence they need to get the most out of college and of life. — From “Are we really raising spoiled, work-averse kids?“
We’ve been back and forth with chores and lists and stars, points and financial incentives, screen time, punishment, awards, goals, deals, you name it. But it often comes down to the parents having to keep up with the program. So am I putting all of the blame on us, the parents? No, but some.
If you want your children to be more responsible, you have to give them more responsibilities. — From “Are we really raising spoiled, work-averse kids?“
We’re guilty of Just Getting it Done. If you wait for the kids to help empty the car, the car is going to get towed or stolen first. If we wait for them to put on their shoes, make their breakfast and find a jacket, school will be long started.
We’ve been late for school (they don’t terribly care), we take away privileges (they forget why they were taken away so don’t necessarily learn anything) and we’ve tried to build systems to make it work for everyone. But it’s herding cats.
Do I just need to read the latest book on parenting? Am I just doing it all wrong? It can’t be that my kids are just lazy, spoiled princes, could it? Ha. It has to change. Maybe I’ll read this book below and come back with some earth-shattering results. Or putting on shoes in the morning would be good, too.
For reference
- Teach Your Children Well: Why Values and Coping Skills Matter More Than Grades, Trophies, or “Fat Envelopes”
