I could think of a better birthday.

Today was my birthday. I can’t remember a worse one and I can’t imagine a worse one in the future either.

So many things are going right in my life. So many paths are turning. Giant ships are slowly changing course. Mountains are being moved. But one thing in my life is not well. It’s not well at all.

I don’t mean to write about it here, but if I’m going to write about my birthday, then I can’t avoid it. With the exception of this one thing, 99 things are going right–or at least on their way to going right. Not only going right, but some are going really right, big right, glorious, magnificent right.

Oh my God, I can’t write it. My fingers don’t want to write the words. I just tried, but my fingers have a life of their own as I’ve learned firsthand. I can’t write the bad thing. Wow, surprising.

Now I can’t even write about the good things because I feel it’s not fair to the bad thing. The good things are all me and the bad things are all him.

I can’t do it. Maybe not tonight. Maybe because it’s my birthday and it was such a hard day. It was quite an awful day. Time to say goodnight to this day. A year from now will be a lifetime different. Of this, I am sure.