Happy Birthday, Dad.

It’s been a year since you passed away.

I miss you.

I didn’t expect this (and I’ve been practicing Expecting the Unexpected), but we still have a relationship. Sure, you’re no longer here physically, but I “see” and “talk with you” every single day. Even if it’s just a little nudge or help with a math problem with the kids. Maybe it’s an extra minute of patience that I need and that you have so much of.

You’re young at easy going, light on your feet, often dancing and always have a smile at the ready. You’re excited about just about anything and everything and you can’t wait to hear how someone is doing. You just want to help. You have the patience of a monk and when the solution finally comes around, you’re as giddy about the outcome as if it had happened instantly. In other words, you seem to exist in a place where time has no power.

I know you’re helping me with the boys’ homework–especially math. I hope you’ve been enjoying all of my math references and especially the humor with which I bring math into people’s worlds (x, y & z to list a few). But you’d also be proud of Lu and his piano. Li created a book trailer for our first book the other day. He was so proud of it. I know you would have loved it.

But I know you know all of this. I don’t know how I know and if you had asked me a year ago, I wouldn’t have believed any of this–not a word. But you’re here with me. In fact, you’re here with all of us. Guiding and helping and laughing and dancing. Sure seems like you’re having fun where you are. But wait a minute, we’re having fun here, too.

In fact, I’m not sure I’ve had this much fun in years. Your lightness of being is infectious and I have a serious case of it. You lift me up with your high spirits and positive attitude. I have an advantage over others in that I have not only your energy, but your wit and charm, your knowledge and experience, and your love.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

I have boundless energy and it just builds on itself, which, of course, doesn’t make sense in physics. Energy doesn’t just come from nowhere, energy is only transferred. Maybe that’s it. Maybe you’re just sharing the abundance that you now have. Well, if that’s the case, then thank you because it’s working.

Thanks for returning my orange ball. Lost that one a few months ago. Just got it back today. Thank you.