Can you improve on the perfect product?

How do you make your product better when it was already simple and perfect?

It was already one of those products that I practically give as gifts to people who have everything. Of course, it helps if they like apples. However, it could even be a better gift in that maybe the recipient should like apples more … hint hint.

I think this is going to be one of those posts where I’m not sure what I’m going to write, so I’ll start writing and see what happens.

It is one of those products that I practically would carry with me everywhere … but it’s razor sharp and I haven’t tested the security at the airports with one yet. But then I did have one gripe: when you’re almost done, the push is almost down to the counter and you push and push, the final last skin of the apple usually doesn’t cut and you then have to turn it over and push it through with a spoon, knife or your thumb. Your thumb is usually the tool that’s most readily available but then when your thumb hits the blade it hurts. It doesn’t cut it, but it’s been a close call many times. Considering I use this product at least once a day, that chance of cutting my thumb is pretty high.

Now I reckon this isn’t earth-shattering news for most, but if you’re a hard core apple corer (little play on words there for you language types out there), this handy dandy newfangled gadget might be just what you’ve been waiting for. Imagine, the apple just pops out, core and 8 slices magically and completely separated. No more pulling or pushing that core through. No more breaking the core in half and then digging that last bit out.

My dear friends, that part of your life is over. For just $9.99 at Bed, Bath & Beyond, you will save yourself from bleeding thumbs and pulling out broken cores. Your eyes will light up as the slices seem to spring out of the device as it gives a satisfying click. It’s a regular wonder of science and manufacturing and it can be yours today.

But wait, there’s more!

OK, fine, there’s not really any more. I just wanted to say that. It’s late, I’m tired and writing about an apple corer and am totally a complete geek for actually believing what I’m writing. Because it’s true! You’re missing out! Your life will be enhanced! Show it off to your friends! Be the hit of dinner parties! Amaze your kids friends!

How did I miss this product? How long has it been on the market? How many months or potentially years has this been around and I, apple corer extraordinaire, didn’t know about it? I could look at it with regret towards the past, but no, I refuse to take that stance. Today, I can look forward to the future and know that my life is all the better, the my thumbs are safe and that my apples will pop.