Maybe it won’t work out
“It’ll be fine. Everything will be OK. We’ll get there.”
We say these things to ourselves but there’s, of course, a chance that:
- It won’t be fine.
- Everything won’t be OK.
- We won’t get there.
Let’s back up.
One of my titles is certainly:
I speak (and write) to motivate others. It’s just in my blood.
However, I also do it for myself.
I motivate myself.
Part of that comes through motivating others.
But is “everything” attainable? Is it all figure-out-able?
Sure. But are you going to actually get there? How high have you set your goals? How realistic are they? How much time did you give yourself to get there?
It’s not you, it’s me
Here’s the rub. When I started this post, I was mostly thinking about others. You know, “those other people” whom you’d like to help, prop up, and pull along towards their own success–or goals or whatever it is they’re seeking.
But they are not you.
I feel like I use this quote at least once a week (and it’s also the one phrase that I retain from an international, 2-year MBA program):
You can bring the horses to water but you can’t make them drink.Dr. Inzirelli
You can guide and pull and push and try and plead and help and…you get the idea but you can’t “make” them do whatever it is you’re trying to help them do.
Here’s the potentially sad news:
It could that what you’re striving for is what you want to happen and that may not align 100% with what they want to happen.
Are you projecting your dreams and goals and ideas and strategies onto someone else?
Have YOU succeeded already in what you’re now proposing for them? (Well, probably, usually.)
Action Step #1
Achieve your thing first. Get yourself there and then reach your hand back and lift them up (if they even want to be lifted up).
At some point, you’ll just know if they want your help or not.
For those achievers among us, it can be a disheartening moment.
Wait a minute, you don’t actually want this, do you?Achiever Annie
There’s a time when you have to let go of the hand that’s below you and imagine that it might be possible they don’t want your help, they don’t need to rise to the heights where you are and aren’t even interested in trying.
Then you need to pull your hand back, offer one last time your love, your services, and your help, and let them be them.
So that kinda sucks.
Then, because you’re you and just want to help people, go find someone else who does want and need your help and would probably jump for joy to connect with you.
Go find that horse who wants to drink.