Which part of “No.” did you not understand?
If you’re going to push, I’m going to push back.
Waffling people are usually really nice. Partly because they can’t decide whether or not to be mean to you. Or nice. Or in between. Usually, it’s somewhere in between.
I used to waffle quite a bit. I was nice about it, too. Usually so nice that it turned out for the worse … for me. I no longer waffle. I don’t hesitate. I know what I want and I’m going to get it. If you get in my way, I will politely ask you to step aside and if you don’t, there’s a good chance I’ll bowl you over. Yeah, sorry about that.
When you achieve clarity, decisions are simple, arguments are useless and smiles are easy to come by.
I’m not mean. I’m not heartless. Not in the least. I’m just focused. I’m clear on where I’m going. If you’re going to ask me to detour, sure, I might go for a detour (if there’s wine or lapsang souchong). But if I’m going from A to B, I’m going to get to B with or without you. If it helps us both to get there together, awesome, let’s make it happen. In fact, I’d rather get there with you as it’ll probably be faster, better and more fun. But if you’re not really heading towards B, no worries, have fun heading over to C or D or wherever it is you’re heading.
So when you ask me something and I say no, I mean no. If you keep pushing, don’t be alarmed when I push back. It’s nothing personal (well, that’s just a saying, maybe it is personal).
Do you get swindled into doing things you don’t want to do? I’m not talking about obligations you don’t want to do (pay taxes, die, lose a limb to an orangutan), but decisions where you have a choice. Where do you most get bowled over? When does it really hurt? Like days-long-annoyed hurt? Or maybe years?
Try saying No. It’s magically refreshing and uplifting. There’s a whole lot to be said for saying yes, but No has its place in your world. Know when to use them both and you’ll, well, smile more. I promise.