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Share from the scar and not from the wound

Share from the scar and not from the wound

Don’t tell your story when you’re (too) deep in the middle of it.

Sure, there are occasions when that makes sense (where you are now, play-by-play of a process) but when it comes to a more “transformational” story wait until that wound has healed to a scar.

Why wait?

Only when you’re done, when you’re through the “hard part” or the deepest valley of despair can you look back and see what you’ve learned.

So what?

Now–and only now–can you share your experience with others who are perhaps in the depths of the pain in a way that they can see the light at the end of the tunnel as you are standing in front of them as living proof saying:

I was where you are and I have now risen above it.

In other words:

  • I understand you.
  • I’ve been there.
  • I’m no longer there.
  • I can help you.

Don’t share your wound when it’s fresh. Let it heal–let yourself heal. Wait for the scar. Then tell your story.

P.S. This is part of a “challenge” from Nicoline Huizinga to “write about something we discussed today” where “today” means the Utrecht Business Breakfast where she gave a fabulous presentation about becoming “Strategically Authentic & Visible” with your brand.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash


  1. Jason C Steinberg

    So true. I couldn’t talk about being shot…for a long time. Now, is a much different story. Thank you.

    • Bradley

      Whoa. That’s one to certainly hold off on until the scar. Or even until the scar heals. I’m sorry to hear about it, Jason.


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