Bradley | Jun 15, 2019 | 0
I think my son is doing LSD. He’s 11. Is that OK?
He wrote, “Math is like a way of life. I feel so special to know it.”
For the record, that can’t be my son. I know him. I’ve know him for 11 years. A FBI handwriting analyst neighbor is on the way over, so maybe that will help identify the intruder. But it might be inconclusive. He’s also bringing his lie detector. Those don’t work, right? So, it’s either:
- Mind-altering drugs,
- Rehearsing for the school play,
- Bribed by his grandfather,
- We need to have a serious talk.
I’m not quite sure what to do … or do nothing. He’s only 11. Maybe he’s “experimenting.” Hey, I’m all about experiments. Let’s take a quick closer look.
Quick survey: what do you do when an alien being takes over the body of your child? Is there an app for that?
LSD isn’t so bad, right? Wasn’t it legal a few decades ago? I think I read about how it’s recently being used for cancer patients. So maybe this is OK.
Rehearsing for the school play
This would actually be perfectly acceptable–even encouraged. Especially with his career aspirations at the moment (1. Hollywood actor or if that doesn’t work out, 2. Professional soccer player), this could be a step in the right direction. The challenge is that school started 3 days ago and I’m not even sure there is a theater group …
Bribed by his grandfather
His grandfather passed away 3 months ago exactly today. Hmm, maybe this is it. It could have been a dying wish. My son really admired his grandfather and math was a huge (like infinity size) part of grandpa’s life. A heavenly connection and request fulfilled? Not entirely impossible.
We need to have a serious talk
If this truly was my son, I’ll have to sit him down in a musky, dark room with a spot light hanging from the ceiling. If he’s exhibiting multiple personalities at this age, we’ll need to start soon on, well, mind-altering drugs.
I need your help. What do you do when you darling angel / despicable devil of a child displays personalities previously unheard of in your household? Do you give them a Snickers bar or send them to their room and cut off the WiFi?
P.S. I’m filing this under “Habits.” 😉